DOUBLE CHECKING THINGS & WHAT IF’S

Are the doors locked? Am I on the right train? Is there spinach in my teeth?

There’s spinach in your teeth; but isn’t it too late, too awkward to tell you now that we’ve been talking for 20 minutes?

Have I re-read the email I wrote enough times to hit “send?” Should I send it to myself first and double check it later?

Did I remember to put water on my night table? What if I’m in captivity and can’t have water by my bed? Do I need to break the habit now? How?

And if I am captured, how will I distract and occupy my mind? Should I memorize a list of things to think about, now while I still can, to keep me from going crazy in such a case?

What if I fall getting out of the bathtub and can’t get up? Should I get one of those necklaces with a button to summon help, like my 92-year-old mom wears? With that button around my neck, is it worth feeling old in order to feel safe?

What if Casey dog needs an operation to save his life? How much would I spend? What’s the cutoff?

What if I get a boyfriend and soon after he gets a terminal illness? Would I have the patience to sit with him in doctors’ windowless waiting rooms?

What if I get a terminal illness (knock wood or whatever)? Will I have the patience to sit in windowless waiting rooms? (NO)

Will I be as afraid of something bad happening if I take my (as yet unborn) grandchildren outdoors as I was to take my daughter’s Yorkie for a walk when I was his sole caregiver for a week, so I didn’t?

Ought I never again experience the joy of a plump raw oyster in case I get a bad one?

Do you know that for each worry I write, I have a dozen more? And that I’m afraid if I write them they’ll come true?

What if I run out of worries to write about? Is that even possible?

Possible or not, it worries me.

POST-POSTING RUMINATIONS: Is this post good enough? Too long? Too boring? I’ll make some phrases bold. Do the bold phrases help? Or distract? Will faithful readers ditch me? This is my 33rd update of this post. What does that tell me?

What are your what if’s?

COMING SOON ON CONFESSIONS OF A WORRYWART: STARTER MARRIAGE, THE MINI-SERIES

Unrelated announcement, see my new articles:

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