Successful Marriage and Marital Problems: How to be Happily Married, Part III

What makes for a successful marriage? What can be done about marital problems? 

Tips for marital success

Confessions of a Worrywart: Husbands, Lovers, Mothers, and Others  Tips for marital success

My two previous posts highlighted Betsy’s story and Harry’s story; below is Victoria’s story.

Victoria is 58 years old and a retired history professor living in Chicago:

The biggest challenge I faced in my marriage was when my husband had an affair. But I was sure it was a one-time thing, that it was a mid-life crisis and that it would never happen again. He assured me that I was totally right on all counts. I wanted to stay married, I really loved my husband, wanted my children to grow up with their father, so we stayed together. There was never another moment that I worried that my husband was looking at another woman and I always felt totally secure in our marriage after that.  Clearly, I made the right decision, learning you can forgive, even if you can’t forget. But you can forgive only once!

In our early years, when we would argue, it took me a while to realize that my husband’s tactic was “the best defense is a good offense.” He would turn our arguments around and complain about something I had done, totally unrelated to what we were arguing about (which was usually something he had done). When I finally realized what he was doing, I would immediately stop him cold and remind him what the subject of our argument was. You have to learn to argue constructively. Best not to go to bed angry. If you do, try to get over it by the next day. Grudges are really bad.

Best things to do to keep a spouse happy – keep the sex lively!

Tune in again for more recipes for a successful marriage.

note: identities have been disguised to protect the innocent as well as the guilty.

What tips do you have for healthy relationships?


Confessions of a Worrywart: Husbands, Lovers, Mothers, and Others                                                  is now on, Kindle, and Smashwords

The perfect Valentine’s Day gift for worrywarts or anyone who would enjoy a “neurotic, hilarious, poignant” deeply personal story.

“A first-rate personal essayist, Susan Orlins delivers the goods time and again. Underneath her self-mocking voice, her abundant humor, her brio, there is the serious candor of a moralist who worries the problems that won’t go away.”
–PHILLIP LOPATE, author and editor of The Art of the Personal Essay


“Susan Orlins is America’s funniest neurotic since Woody Allen. Just be careful you don’t crack a rib reading Confessions of a Worrywart.”

–PATRICIA VOLK, author of Stuffed

5.0 out of 5 stars Funny, poignant, beautifully written January 21, 2013

Susan Orlins is a master storyteller.This book is both funny and poignant… both lighthearted and heartbreaking. It’s one of those rare books that you can read in a few days, but it stays with you much longer. I found myself thinking about Susan’s stories and experiences long after I finished the book. It’s a great read that will have you laughing out loud one moment, and then feeling your heart break the next as you travel along the bumpy road of Susan’s life. I have not enjoyed a memoir this much since reading David Sedaris’ Me Talk Pretty SomeDay. (But as a woman, I can relate to this book SO much more). Highly recommended.

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