Zoom: How do I Look?
Then there’s my hair. Today I put a comb on top to hold back the overgrown front part. I think I’d look better in my zoom square without the comb. How weird will it be if I’m seen arranging my coif?
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susan fishman orlins
And Now the Dishwasher Conversation
My older sister’s job was rinsing them and mine was loading them schmutz-fee into the dishwasher. My brother’s job was being the only son.
THE FAMILY SPONGE CONVERSATION
For me, hand-washing a glass sparks certainty that the next morning my cold brew will taste like Lemon Joy; I depend on the dishwasher for dishes to be fully rinsed. My middle daughter believes the reverse. She thinks dishwashers leave soap residue and will make her coffee taste like Cascade.
Happiness Tip
Did I really become a complacent worrywart because of a Times reader’s tip? If so, how much effort must I devote to the New York Times’s comments sections to solve all my problems?
What Do You Think About When You Are Not Thinking About Anything Else?
To find out what I’m thinking about, I decided to track my thoughts. But it doesn’t work when your paying attention, like just now I was washing my hands, so for this exercise, I noticed myself saying to myself, “I’m washing my hands.”
Airline Bumping, Circa Mid 90s
“Come here; I just want to talk to you,” she sings in a tone that belies daggers. Two flight attendants are poised by the cabin door, ready, I am certain, to slam it behind me.
GETTING GONGED BY CHUCK BARRIS
Was I really so taken in by the razzmatazz of Hollywood? Or was it simply the same response, say, a hamster would have had after slumbering in such close proximity to another hamster?
Biting a Peach
biting into a peach at Trader Joe’s and then throwing it away is a freedom I have as a white person, no less one with gray hair and a Medicare card in her fanny pack.
In 2013 I Met a Homeless, Drug-Addicted Ex-Con; Now He’s My Co-Author
Anderson lived with his father for the first time and realized, “My daddy got a little care about me.”
Magical Performance
How could such gut-wrenching stories have resulted in such a magical performance?
Homeless Lives: Unforgettable Personal Stories
Sometimes the writers go home and work on their stories. Well, they don’t exactly go home, because many in the group are homeless.
Beijing and Bicycle Conundrum
It’s a Beijing conundrum because I don’t want to support the stolen bike industry by buying a new, used, probably stolen bike.
Ski and the City
Not everyone has as much attraction to strangers as I do, but if you do, with skis and the city and a camera, you have a great excuse.
Shopping in China
We prowl Yashow’s aisles, giggling like a pair of teens, assessing shoes and scarves, chattering at the leisurely pace of the senior citizen duo we now are.
Selling Street Sense, Washington’s Homeless Newspaper
Nearly everyone had an avoidance tactic. They turned their heads away or looked straight ahead, as though I were invisible.
Worry Pastiche
Surveys showed that one in twelve listeners believed the story was real and that Martians were invading New Jersey.
DUMPSTER DAY
I planned to videotape the Miss America and watch it with my daughters—after they returned to me from their dad—the way we always had. (I know, I’m a lowbrow.)
Empty Nest Redux
Are two overnights a month better than four visits for a few hours each plus having her nearby for spontaneous additional visits?
Stranger on a Train
Regret is one of my least favorite feelings. In a few minutes I would be switching trains, and the opportunity to help this stranger on a train would soon expire . . .
Reversals
That Greta’s son had set parental controls on his mother’s computer gave me more than just a chuckle; it gave me a jolt, reminding me of the parent-child reversals I had been noticing more and more in my own life.
Highway Safety: Truckin’ With Trucks
A truck driver once told me that his instructions were: if you think you are going to hit a car with, say, a family in it, then try to kill all the occupants, because the financial settlement would be lower than if they lived.
Freaky Friday in Laos
y very presence seemed to bring out the worrywart in my adventuresome Eliza, as though every day of our time together in Laos were Freaky Friday, as in the film of the same name in which mother and daughter find their personalities exchanged.
Dog as Transitional Object
I knew a 52-year-old man with a 26-year-old girlfriend, who still slept with her teddy bear, so by the principle of transitivity he too slept with the teddy bear.
ADD and The Worrywart
ADD and the Worrywart: This explains why every time I go to New York, I get more work done than when I’m home, writing on my quiet porch in Washington, D.C.
What Are Your Favorite Food Moments on an Ordinary Day?
What do you eat on an ordinary day? Maybe I’ll find that mine are not quirks at all and that everyone drinks a pint of tea in a Pyrex measuring cup before bed.
Public Toilet Mishaps
This of course led me to one of my common ruminations: What would be the cutoff for retrieving a precious item from a public toilet?
Antidote to Worry: Frozen Banana and Melted Chocolate
Antidote to Worry: Frozen Banana and Melted Chocolate
Casey at the Window: My Dog’s Quality of Life
How do I measure my dog’s quality of life? A dog whisperer on TV whispered a guideline for when to euthanize your dog: when bad days outnumber good days.
Antidote to Worry: Lettuce Wraps
With bathing suit season approaching, everyone seems to be more calorie conscious. Lettuce wraps are one of my favorite snacks.
Worrywart Calm in the Face of a Missing Laptop
Why do religious people worry? All they have to do is pray. Whenever I’m worried, I have to pay. My therapist is my Lord. The missing laptop was not . . .